February 26 - March 4 is Eating Disorder Awareness Week, which forces me to reflect on a very difficult time in my life. From the time I was thirteen-years-old, and all throughout my teenage years, I struggled with an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa, an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight by refusing to eat.
Eating disorders are not something that people are born with, and they are not something that people bring upon themselves intentionally. Rather, eating disorders form because of the ideas planted in young women and men’s minds about weight and appearance from media, family, and friends (usually at a young age). Every time someone makes a comment about weight that makes us feel insecure, and every time we see hyper-thin women on TV or in a magazine, we judge ourselves harshly. A seed is planted. A very specific thought process is formed that in order to be successful in life, you must be beautiful. And in order to be beautiful, you must be thin.
I’m about to do something I never thought I’d publicly do…and that is share relationship advice. You see, I used to be really terrible at relationships. Like, reeeeeally terrible. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say that after many years I’ve finally (thank god) come to realize what a healthy relationship looks and feels like.
Achieving a healthy relationship shouldn’t be a constant battle, and it should never feel like you’re trying to win a game or solve a mystery when it comes to your partner. It should be simple, easy, and fun. I’ve seen one too many friends get dragged down by shitty relationships, and it always shocks me how far they will go down the rabbit hole before figuring out they deserve better. (I’ll also admit I’ve had a bit of personal experience with this as well)
Shitty relationships are shitty for a lot of reasons, but mostly because they cause someone’s happiness to become dependent on their partner.
Tori Talks was created to inspire people to become the most authentic and empowered versions of themselves - a space where personal experiences, tips, and tidbits guide others to live strong, grounded, and powerful lives.