My good friend sent me a really powerful article the other day titled, “Stop Pretending and Start Living.” It was about how many of us pretend to be okay with our life choices, our careers, and our relationships…yet deep down we know we are masking the fact that none of this is actually fulfilling or making us happy. And, it’s easier to pretend. Because then we don’t have to quit our jobs, figure our shit out, or tell our partners we no longer want to be with them. We just tell ourselves “it’s all fine”…“yes I am happy”…and keep pushing forward.
And I’ll be honest, my heart dropped to my stomach while reading this. A million thoughts raced through my head. I began to question anything I’d ever done and the different paths I’d taken to get me where I am today. And I became really fucking angry at this article. How dare it make me question my perfectly lovely life that I’ve created, and all of the things I'm planning for the future? I AM happy. I AM fine. I AM on the right path! Damnit.
After I stewed for about an hour or so, splashed some water on my face, and took a few deep breaths…I read the article again and tried to approach the information from a different angle. This time, thankfully, it went much better and didn’t almost give me a panic attack.
The fact that this article had such an affect on me made me think that it may happen for others too. So, I wanted to take a moment to clarify some very import items discussed throughout the article so that it didn’t send them into a panic as well :)
Yes, we absolutely should all stop pretending to like, love, or be interested in things that we truly don’t. We should be very vocal about the things that inspire and excite us, and be honest with others when asked uncomfortable questions that they may not want to hear the answers to. We should stop being concerned about what is socially acceptable, and start thinking more about what we believe is acceptable and appropriate for ourselves. We should 100% say hell no to things we don’t believe in and always dive head first into opportunities encompassing what we are most passionate about.
However, as long as you are making decisions that you KNOW are bringing you closer to the life that you so greatly desire, then it is perfectly fine to just be content with this stage in your life. There is a VERY big difference between being “happy” and being “satisfied” in life. To be satisfied doesn’t mean you’re lying to yourself or unhappy. It means that you are content with where you are for the time being, aware of what you need to do to get to your end goal/ dream career/ideal life/perfect relationship... AKA happiness, and that you are both actively and consciously working towards it every.single.day.
Would I be happier traveling around the world as a writer and owning my own business instead of sitting at a desk all day?
Would I prefer to make a great living with one job rather than running myself ragged doing multiple?
Would I love for Albert to be more romantic at times?
But I genuinely adore my full-time job. I don’t mind hustling hard on the side to reap the benefits later. And one of the things I love the most about my relationship is its perfect combination of maturity and goofiness.
I am 100% satisfied with my life, and I am not pretending. I am as happy as I can possibly be at this point in my life. Right now. In this moment. And I know it will only get better from here...because you better believe I'm working hard for it.
image from www.spiked-online.com
Tori Talks was created to inspire people to become the most authentic and empowered versions of themselves - a space where personal experiences, tips, and tidbits guide others to live strong, grounded, and powerful lives.